Two conversations
Balloons and streamers set a festive mood. An eclectic mix of international foods – plus the requisite birthday cake – covered the dining table. I had been invited to a birthday party for a 20-something Third Culture Kid (TCK).[1] Guests squeezed into the living room, almost all of us TCKs. Most were in the twenties, but a few of us were of the Boomer generation (i.e., generally defined as being born between 1946 and 1964 – the post WWII baby boom). We all introduced ourselves, and then sang, played games, and talked. Over the course of the evening, I had two conversations that highlighted the joys of being a come-alongside coach and mentor in this season of my life.
Conversation #1 was with a young TCK near the completion of her undergraduate education. Earlier, as we circled the room during our introductions, my curiosity had been piqued -- she, like me, had grown up as a missionary kid in Southeast Asia! Later, I sat down next to her, and our conversation uncovered some other fun points of contact. As we talked further, I found myself mirroring her excitement and anticipation. I sensed that she was at the trailhead of a deeply shaping and transformative journey in mission. She seemed an eager learner, and I smiled inside with the joy of coming alongside her as a listener, good question asker and encourager.
Conversation #2 was with a Boomer couple. They had been involved in mission but were now retired. But prior to their retiral, they had already backed away from active engagement in mission. “We were burnt out.”
Curious, I asked, “What caused you to be burnt out?”
“Hmm, nobody has really asked me that. I haven’t thought about this for so long,” the wife said. “Well, I wondered, ‘Was what we were doing effective? There was so much focus on productivity and getting things done. We were workaholics.” As we talked further, I found myself mirroring their honest questions and wrestlings. We talked also about the authenticity of expressing disappointment with God, a biblical practice called “lament.” I realized how much I have wrestled with the inconsistencies, pain, honest questions and doubts that arise in the heart over a lifetime of mission. Yet inside I also felt an anchored peace; I know that my own wrestlings have made me a more authentic and compassionate listener.
Two conversations, with Jesus followers on two different points of the vocational road. How might we increase the space for lots of listening, compassion, and an ear for the Spirit of Jesus and what He might say? To grow courage, keep learning, bring healing, strengthen friendship, have honest conversations, and maintain a healthy and sustainable pace for a lifetime of flourishing and fruitfulness? We’re listening to Jesus.
[1] “A traditional Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her first eighteen years of life accompanying parent(s) into a country or countries that are different from at least one parent’s passport country(ies) due to a parent’s choice of work or advanced training.” The sense of belonging of the TCK is often most strongly felt in connection to others of similar background (i.e., other TCKs). (Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds by David C. Pollock, Ruth E. Van Reken, and Michael V. Pollock, 3rd edition, Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 2017)