Questions are wise teachers

A question knocked on the door of my life. I opened the door and we started a conversation….

Questions are wise teachers, not because they always demand an answer, but because they make us think. And they ask us to feel.

Yet sometimes we resent questions. Here are a couple reasons why:

Questions force us to stop doing and move to thinking which slows our decision-making processes.
Questions that cannot be answered by us bring internal tensions. 

This is why we must be gentle with ourselves as we consider the self-reflection questions below. Imagine each question is a wise guest who is knocking on the door of your life and who would enjoy a conversation with you. 

That’s it. You don’t have to “tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth” when asked a question. My goodness, that’s exhausting. Rather, a good question opens a door to a larger inner room that you can explore in your time.

Below are some of my questions, gleaned from books and my own meditations. Most of the questions I retrieve only sporadically when I am curious about what’s going on in my life. Some of them, though, demand to be examined. They are important, timely, and if answered, have power to change my life.

These questions are listed in no order of importance. They are arranged loosely around questions that invite noticings of self, of who I want in my life, and of God and me.

Noticings of Self:

What is the life that wants to be lived in and through me? (Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness)

What is the question I am afraid to ask myself?

What truth(s) have I forgotten?

What lie have I “loved?” (not because it makes me feel good, but because I am so good at practicing and believing this lie, e.g., I can do this by myself, I don’t need help) 

Am I choosing life? And am I loving it? (Deuteronomy 30:19)

When I speak gently to myself, what is it that I would like to say? (Teresa of Avila: do no violence to your soul)


What sorrow needs tending?

When is the last time I took a really deep breath? When is the last time I really rested? (Psalm 23, The Message)


What is the name of the joy that lies kindled in me, no matter how small the flame?

What is the tension or paradox I am learning to hold? And can I be at peace knowing both sides are true?


What arouses my curiosity?

What brings me to a sense of wonder? Delight?

What vexes me? Rather than stay in anger and frustration, what is the invitation being extended to me?

What part of me do I need to befriend?

When parts of me show up unbidden, how do I greet myself? (Rumi, The Guest)

Noticings of who I want in my life:

What mentor (a person or a group, a way of thinking or being), beckons me from the peripheries?

I’m in the middle of a lake in a boat when the boat begins to sink. Who is in the boat with me? Who do I see on the shore? Who do I want to see in the water holding a life preserver?

What is one thing that weighs me down, that if I let go would make me lighter, give me freedom?

Who are gifts to me? What would I want to say to each one of them?

Am I able to ride the dragon of regret and disappointment down to the bottom, and what is the message I most long to hear when I am at bottom? Who are they from whom I most long to hear?


Noticings of God and me

When I say to God, “God, I love you,” what is it that I love? (St. Augustine, Confessions)

When God says to me, “I love you,” what is it that God loves? (St. Augustine, Confessions)

What does God say when I ask: “God, who are you to me? And who am I to you? Tell me.” (St. Augustine, Confessions)