Learning from a Pair of Talkative Bears: Shadow Work and the 2nd Half of Life

“Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act,
just once, with great beauty and courage.
Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence,
something helpless that wants our love.”
~ Rainer-Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet, 1929

It is mentioned on our About 2HC page that the overall 2HC journey emphasizes several critical second-half-of-life themes, first on the list being “becoming our ‘truest’ selves.” We clarify our meaning slightly by adding that “becoming one’s truest self” involves “identifying and finding freedom from our adapted or shadow selves and living into our truest identities in God.”

Our “shadows” describe the parts of us we want to hide, not only from others, but also ourselves. We begin this process early in childhood, hoping that in so doing we will ensure that we will be accepted and loved — first by our family, then by friends, and finally by organizations and institutions in which we find employment, recognition, camaraderie, and belonging. “Shadow work” is what we do to bring these hidden parts of ourselves into the light of awareness.

This brief description may help in illuminating the meaning of the shadow, but terms like adapted self and true self remain. What are these concepts seeking to convey?

Perhaps an intriguing allegory from an unexpected source can play its role in drawing us into the deeper meaning of these terms. We invite you to enter imaginatively into the experience of two talkative bears, whose story is told by the fourteenth century Persian poet Hafiz.[1] May this poem’s imagery shed a soft-glowing, tender light on what might otherwise come across as somewhat sterile nomenclature, that of “adapted self” and “true,” helping us grasp their meaning at not only the head level, but also the heart.

Two Bears

Once
After a hard day’s forage
Two bears sat together in silence
On a beautiful vista
Watching the sun go down
And feeling deeply grateful
For life.

Though, after a while
A thought-provoking conversation began
Which turned to the topic of
Fame.

The one bear said,
“Did you hear about Rustam?
He has become famous
And travels from city to city
In a golden cage;

He performs to hundreds of people
Who laugh and applaud
His carnival
Stunts.”

The other bear thought for
A few seconds
Then started
Weeping.

Have you ever felt like Rustam, performing “carnival stunts” to win the applause of various audiences?

Have you ever felt like the two bears, experiencing gratitude for life, having invested your energies into precisely what God made you to do and to be?

Photo by Anthony Renovato on Unsplash

[1] Hafiz, The Gift: Poems by Hafiz the Great Sufi Master, trans. Daniel Ladinsky (London: Penguin Arkana, 1999), 123, Kindle.