Discernment and the 2nd Half of Life (Part 2)

Here we are in a week of transition, approaching the start of a new calendar year. Many take this time for reflection and planning.[1] It is a fitting time to consider again the theme of discernment. Additionally, for mission workers who feel that they have entered and are living into the 2nd half of life, discernment is key in a broader sense too. In Part 1 we looked at what discernment is and considered why growing our capacities for discernment is important especially for the 2nd half of life. Cultivating practices for discernment invites us

• to see God in all of life and in all things

• to notice and name how life changes are impacting us externally and in our internal responses.  This allows us to take our next faithful steps with greater clarity, spiritual freedom, and joy.

• to strengthen our experience of authentic community. We engage in discernment practices and share about them with others in honest, supportive ways beyond just talking about our ministry or mission “to-do” tasks.

In this Part 2 of our blog on discernment, we consider some helpful basics – practical steps for engaging in discernment both for a dedicated time of discernment and decision-making and for continued growth as discerning persons. One resource that we have found particularly helpful is Elizabeth Liebert’s The Way of Discernment: Spiritual Practices for Decision Making (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 2008).[2] We will refer to this book throughout this blog.

What are some basics that are particularly helpful to keep growing our capacities for discernment? Consider the following suggestions.

Cultivate a regular awareness practice

The Prayer of Examen or Awareness Prayer is probably the most widely known awareness practice. Liebert describes it as a practice that “helps us look for the traces of God’s action in our daily life. It is usually done in the evening looking back over the day, but you may also use it to pray about any other meaningful period of time (such as a week or a year), or discrete event (such as a meeting or a class).”[3]

There are many different versions of this type of prayer. Early in her book, Liebert invites readers to use one such example of a daily Awareness Examen that can be completed in about five to fifteen minutes.[4]

2HC facilitator Carol Weaver writes that she first learned of this type of prayer when she was younger and read Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home by Richard Foster (San Francisco: HarperOne, 1992). But “the chapter [on the prayer of examen] did not have an impact on me because I did not think I needed this type of prayer. I wasted a lot of years of growth by not at least trying it out!”[5]

Liebert writes that it is “important to start an awareness practice and then keep at it because its fruits appear over time. Eventually, you will reap generous rewards not only for your practice of discernment, but for your growth in the life of the Spirit as a whole.”[6]

Regularly use spiritual practices that nurture an inner disposition of spiritual freedom

Often there is a similar “aha” moment for mission workers who are noticing the press and pull of 2nd half of life concerns, both externally and internally. We recognize that we may have been involved in good and godly endeavors. But the “aha” moment comes when we notice that our involvement in these endeavors have often been in response to the demands and expectations of others, driven by our own inner compulsions and fears. We are, as noted author Parker Palmer says based on his own experience, living a life that is not our own, “a life spent imitating heroes instead of listening to [our] own heart.”[7]

True freedom means, as Liebert notes, that we “act in ways that are as free as we can make them from inner and outer compulsions and that are closely attuned to God’s purposes in the world.”[8] This allows us to see ourselves and others through the eyes of God. We become less driven. We become more and more unoffendable, filled with deep compassion. We open more of our lives and our daily moments to receive the great love of God. Our service arises as the natural overflow from a reservoir of God’s love and contentment inside us.

Liebert notes that spiritual freedom is the “essential disposition” for discernment.[9] She provides guides to three practices that help readers seek their own deepest desires, cultivate a heart that can respond freely to God’s call, and review their own history with God honestly and without condemnation or judgment. Another helpful practice is to take an honest inventory of possessions, habits, and behaviors to which we are attached in an unhealthy way.[10] In my own experience and observations, seeking inner healing from past wounds, pains and shame has also been an important spiritual practice that invites inner health and freedom. Recently, I have also started to use centering prayer as a way to cultivate an openness to God and a quiet reverence in God’s presence.

Use various “entry points” for discernment during decision moments in our lives. These will also help us grow as discerning persons.

Decision moments in our lives can become a practical way for us to grow our capacities for discernment. One way to do this is by using different “entry points” for discernment, allowing God to uncover our longings and speak to us through varied means. The idea of using varied entry points for discernment comes from Liebert and is one of the strengths of her book. She includes seven entry points for discernment, providing practical step-by-step guides for these entry points as well: approaching discernment through memory, intuition, our body’s awareness, imagination, reason, religious affections or feelings, and nature. Liebert also concludes with a final chapter on confirming a discerned decision.

The variety of entry points that Liebert uses illustrate the “richness of the Christian tradition of discernment.”[11] Other entry points can be used as well. For example, another entry point for discernment that we mentioned in Part 1 of this blog is listening prayer in small groups.[12] Committed friends listen to the issue or concern for discernment that the one being prayed for is bringing. After a time of quiet listening to God, they then share – without added commentary – the strengthening words, images, and scriptural references that they received. The process can be repeated.

I have been brought up from a young age with a disciplined commitment to reading and studying the Scriptures. I have found that using these various entry points builds on what I know from the Scriptures about God and what it means to be in a loving, faithful relationship with God.

As we move through different seasons of life, be open to try out different spiritual practices, including different practices for discerning

Brian Wallace of the Fuller Center for Spiritual Formation in the United States has done doctoral research on the spiritual practices that help us to flourish in Christian mission. Wallace found that for those who flourish, regular spiritual practices center around the Scriptures and prayer and are

“Varied

Leaders changed or shifted their spiritual practices to support their specific situation or stage of life, and sometimes to maintain interest and capacity to be faithful.”

Adapted

Many of the classic disciplines were present, but no one individual used them in their classic form, but adapted them to fit their lives, their families, and their work.

Communal

Everyone interviewed described their practices in the context of the people with or among whom they engaged. The community was a key driver, support, and encouragement to their engagement with Jesus.”[13] 

Before you go, stop for a moment to consider: “What spiritual practices have you found helpful in moments and seasons of discernment? How might you deepen your experience of that practice? What other practices mentioned in this blog might you consider trying out? How will you do that and who will help you?” One practical response would be to purchase Liebert’s book or another resource and start using the suggested practices. Happy New Year and happy discerning!

Photo on Unsplash by Mohammad Ali Mohtashami.

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[1] One resource to help do this is the Great Annual Examen, developed by Stephen W. Smith, President and Spiritual Director of Potter’s Inn, and available at https://www.pottersinn.com/articles/ze2mmwjthj54t86slz2tcrrhfz49ty

[2] Liebert has structured her book very practically as a “personal retreat facilitator” (Introduction, loc. 177 in Kindle version) that can also be used in a group of friends gathered to support each individual member in their own discernment process. Liebert includes actual practices in each chapter, inviting readers not just to read about discernment but to “learn discernment through its practice” (Introduction, loc. 177 in Kindle version).

[3] Liebert, 3.

[4] Liebert, 3. Another resource that includes different variations of the Prayer of Examen is the “Reimagining the Examen” app, available in Apple or Google app stores. This free app is created by Loyola Press and is based on Mark Thibodeaux, SJ’s best-selling book, Reimagining the Ignatian Examen: Fresh Ways to Pray from Your Day (Chicago: Loyola Press, 2015)

[5] Carol Ann Weaver, Exercises for Everyone: Take a Transformative Journey Praying the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola (obtained directly from author, no date), 13.

[6] Liebert, 5.

[7] Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation, San Francisco, Jossey-Bass, 2000, loc 63 Kindle version.

[8] Liebert, 9.

[9] Liebert, loc 104, Kindle version.

[10] See, for example, the chapter on “Detachment” in Adele Calhoun’s chapter Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices that Transform Us (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2005), 95-98.

[11] Liebert, loc 137, Kindle version.

[12] In Chapter 5 Liebert describes a similar but longer and more involved practice of listening to God in a contemplative faith-sharing group called a “Clearness Committee.” This practice has been developed by the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers).

[13] Brian Wallace, “Research to Resource: Fuller Formation Groups,” paper presented in a Fuller Formation Group under the Fuller Center for Spiritual Formation, October 2020, Pasadena, California.