Discernment and the 2nd Half of Life (Part 1)
“What am I noticing about your ways in this person’s story? God, what is your deepest desire for this person? Where is my heart stirred?” Our current 2HC cohort was gathered virtually for the second retreat of our 10-month cohort. This retreat was devoted to learning more about discernment and trying out some actual practices of discernment. The questions above were prompts that guided our time around one entry point for discernment: listening prayer in small groups.
Growing their capacities for discernment is one of the reasons why experienced mission workers are joining 2HC.[1] In this blog, we will look at what discernment is and why it is important especially to the 2nd half of life. In our next blog (Part 2), we will consider some components that will help us grow our capacities for discernment. These will be practical ways to engage in discernment, including the use of varied entry points for discernment.
What is discernment?
The term “discernment” is sometimes narrowly used to refer to the spiritual gift of “discernment” or the discerning of spirits, as mentioned in the list of spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12. This is the ability or the gift to be able to judge or distinguish what is from the Spirit and what is not (cf. 1 John 4:1). But in a broader sense, discernment is a way of life in God that is cultivated over time through spiritual practices. These discernment practices help us to know God’s presence and guidance in all things and in all of life. Thus, our goal in discernment is not simply to know the next decision we need to make, but to become (and keep becoming) discerning persons.
Ruth Haley Barton, a writer, spiritual director, and founder of the Transforming Center, says that discernment is a “habit, a way of seeing that eventually permeates our whole life.” It is a “quality of attentiveness to God that is so intimate that over time we develop an intuitive sense of God’s heart and purpose in any given moment.”[2]
But to pay attention to God, we need to pay attention to what’s going on inside us, for our “emotional dispositions” are the “media of God’s influence in our lives.”[3] Thus, discernment is not just a matter of making a rational decision or of simply receiving a revelation from God, but of “attending to both the circumstances of our lives and the emotional contours of our hearts.”[4]
But how might we – practically speaking – attend to God and to the emotional contours of our heart? What will growing our capacities for discernment look like? We will provide some answers in our next blog. But in the remainder of this blog, we address why cultivating discernment is important especially to the 2nd half of life.
Why is growing our capacities for discernment important to the 2nd half of life?
As we mature in life and mission, we can be surprised to find out that our lives don’t necessarily seem to get easier. We’ve grown up, but our problems and concerns seem to have grown up too! We face doubts, questions and inner wrestlings that we haven’t experienced or acknowledged before. We may encounter a life or relational or faith crisis. Needs of family feel particularly weighty. We may face a loss of certainty. Or we often realize that what motivated us in life and mission before seems half-formed or incomplete. In fact, these markers often awaken us to the fact that we’ve entered a different season, a “second” half of our lives. Growing our capacities for discernment during this season is key. Why?
First, regular practices for discernment invite us to see God in ALL of life and in all things. We are being beckoned to meet God in new ways not just in the high, bright points of productivity or success but in the low, dark places too. We grow our capacity to be very honest with ourselves and with God, listen to our own hearts and to God, and encounter God’s love in deeper ways. “Nothing is wasted—neither success nor failure, happiness nor grief, faith nor doubt. All can contribute to our discernment because God is present in all.”[5]
Second, moving into the second half of life often involves transitions and change. Cultivating regular practices for discernment help us take our next faithful steps with greater confidence, spiritual freedom and joy.
Third, nurturing practices of discernment in community (which should always be a part of a healthy discernment process and an overall discerning life) helps to grow our connections to supportive friendships and community. These connections are vital to our flourishing in the 2nd half of life. As mission workers mature in life and mission, they begin to recognize longings for authentic connection beyond simply their organizational “to-do” list or the tasks of mission. Discernment practices that are experienced and shared about in community help to deepen these fortifying and life-giving friendships.
In our next blog we will consider some helpful basics for growing our capacities for discernment, including the use of varied entry points for discernment. But before you go, thank God for his presence and goodness, then take some time to respond reflectively to these two questions:
What is one marker in your life that is calling you to a deeper experience of discernment?
What is one simple step you could take toward that deeper experience of discernment?
photo on Unsplash by Daria Kurennaya
[1] Seasoned workers are joining 2HC for two other reasons as well: a longing for spiritual depth and the need to process seasons of disorientation. These three reasons were identified and articulated by our Facilitation Team member Andrew Richey.
[2] Ruth Haley Barton, Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation. (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Books, 2006), 111.
[3] Gordon T. Smith, The Voice of Jesus: Discernment, Prayer and the Witness of the Spirit. (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2003), 39.
[4] Ibid, 53.
[5] Elizabeth Liebert, The Way of Discernment: Spiritual Practices for Decision Making (Lousville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 2008), 9.