Belonging and “at-homeness”
“He entered into communion with God, the Scripture says. That’s what prayer is about. He was there [on the mountain, cf. Luke 6:12-19] to listen to the voice that says, ‘You are my beloved. On you my favor rests.’ He entered into that prayer to be completely absorbed in that intimacy that gives him this total sense of belonging, this total sense of safety, this total sense of ‘at-homeness’”
The words “belonging” and “at-homeness” are so important to me. My experience with mission at first was being drawn to a compelling call and vision. I followed the strong voices of others – mission leaders and visionaries. But inside I was mostly hollow. I am not sure I even knew myself, let alone God. Now as I’ve grown, matured and deepened spiritually and emotionally, I’ve allowed myself to express inner core desires – to be loved and cared for, to find a place of belonging and “at-homeness.” These desires are finding fulfillment both in anchoring communion with God and in authentic community with others.
Without an experience of vibrant communion with God and honest community, we run to other things to cover our hollow inside. My younger years and earlier life in mission reinforced outward performance and achievements. I did well in academic life, sports and leadership. In fact, I won various awards for “outstanding” achievements. But I also hurt others. I stumbled through some romantic relationships. I held judgments. In one case, these judgments led to a loss of trust in me by one of my first leaders. And I wounded my wife and family with my passive-aggressive anger. (P.S. These stories do include later chapters of restoration and joy).
My story is but one example of what can happen when we don’t know how to live out of that deep communion with God (often because it’s not modeled well for us or because we have unhealed wounds). Notes Nouwen, “It is only to the degree that you taste that communion that you will ever be able to enter into the complexity of a human society, without becoming a manipulative and violent person.” Wow! How many of us have had experience with leaders and peers who are manipulative, angry and (even) violent? How many of us have been that kind of person! Ouch.
“It is only to the degree that you taste that communion that you will ever be able to enter into the complexity of a human society, without becoming a manipulative and violent person.”
The larger context of Nouwen’s words above focus on the integration of communion with God, community and ministry. [1] But in this blog, we’ve focused on that first part: communion with God. I’ll close with three questions: Where is that place for you of total belonging and at-homeness? If you aren’t sure, how could you find it? Who might you talk with?
[1] Henri Nouwen, “Communion, Community, Ministry,” lecture at St. Patrick's College, Maynooth, Kildare, Ireland, February 28, 1991. Similar ideas are expressed in another article, “From Solitude to Community to Ministry,” Leadership Journal (Spring 1995), republished by Christianity Today, https://www.christianitytoday.com/pastors/1995/spring/5l280.html. Accessed June 22, 2022.
Photo by Amer Mughawish on Unsplash.com.