Diving Out of the Pause

Reflections on Living a Contemplative & Engaged Spirituality

Photo by Liu-Yi, on Unsplash

I’ve always been fascinated by all things Olympic, it doesn’t matter if it’s the winter or summer games, I love all the sports (well, maybe not curling). 

I’m especially intrigued by Olympic divers. In their sport there’s no whistle or bell or start gun - just the silence at the end of the diving board before they jump. 

To set the record straight: I’m not a diver. I can’t even do a front flip, though I’ve tried without success since I was 10. The latest fail was when I was about 40 yrs old and while my kids were pretty good at doing front flips, my specialty was the  belly flop. 

Anyway, back to those Olympic divers.  Have you ever noticed how carefully they climb the stairs, then walk so gracefully to the edge of the diving board three or ten meters above the pool  - and then they stop…and PAUSE…for what seems like an eternity. 

They’re not like me, no! I rush up the stairs as if it’s a race to the end of the board, only to belly flop, again! But not those Olympians. They pause, for quite awhile — and then they dive: out-of-the-pause. Gracefully, beautifully, without any effort (or so it appears).

I’ve been wondering lately, what’s going on in that pause? 

Lately, reflecting on the pause at the end of the board has been instructional.  Is the pause inner peace? Quiet focus? Congruence? Or all of that, or something else? Then, after the pause - they dive - and it’s incredible, so graceful. I love it. 

It’s taken me years, but I think I’m finally learning to dive out of the pause - in my life that is. I’ve found a new kind of life. It’s the life that Jesus said he came to bring us, me and you, life to the fullest.  

The pause has become my own quiet reflection, depth, focus, and discernment. It’s the 2HC life where I’m learning to practice a preference for pausing with God to know what to do in life with all the twists and turns and challenges it throws at me. 

Diving out of the pause is becoming true contemplation to me - a contemplation with God and hearing from Him - to know how to move forward each day living the kind of life that God gives me out of the pause. 

In pausing I am s l o w l y learning to bring my whole self into the dive of life - the stuff of relationships and family and work  - it’s becoming an engaged spirituality. I still need to remember to slow down and stop at the end of the board - long enough to dive out of the pause. This learning to dive out of the pause kind of life still has to deal with my ego and self ambition and the inner stuff that’s not so graceful and beautiful.  I still belly flop, but I’m glad God has all of eternity to do life with me. 

Thomas Merton once prayed, and his prayer has become a prayer near to my heart: “My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will doesn’t mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.”

I feel God is pleased that I’m finally pausing before the dive. I’m not an Olympic diver yet, but I can always live as if I can become one.